Public Speaking

After my boss sent out an email to the entire company announcing my departure, I received an email from a coworker asking me to come speak one Wednesday for his youth group. Not having done anything like that before in my life, I was nervous to say the least. He said I should just talk about how I came to make my decision of going into missions, and also tell them my testimony. Testimony? That wasn't something I had available at my fingertips to read off to someone. I literally had to start from scratch - getting scriptures that had spoken to me and making an outline that spoke of how God had moved so amazingly.

The big day finally arrived, and everyone kept encouraging me, saying that God would give me the words to speak. After I was called to the front of the large group of 14-18 year-olds, I kept that in my head, praying the entire way up that he would speak through me and I wouldn't have to do any work. Obviously that wasn't the case. However, I didn't do half bad...judging by the fact that I didn't stutter or completely draw a blank.

The great thing was that after all was said and done, I had a few people come up to me with legitimate questions and comments about what I'd had to say. It was encouraging for me! Of course I hope that I was able to reach some of those kids (especially the girls with my talk of not getting in a hurry to marry), but the immediate results were in me. It was wonderful to see the fruits of God using me as a tool to get his Word out there!

Epic Tales

This weekend my mom and I had a girl's night and decided to go and see Australia, the new movie directed by Baz Luhrmann. Having heard mixed reviews, I went in not knowing what to expect, but at the same time hoping he could pull off another classic like his former Romeo and Juliet and Moulin Rouge. It turned out to be more than I had hoped for - probably the best movie I've ever seen, no exaggeration. Although labeled as a romance, and therefore probably not having an equal ratio of women to men, it was also a western, an adventure - suspenseful and dramatic.

One thing I learned as I watched was just how different people could be and still cohabitate together. Not only that, but even become a family because of their differences. No one had to change who they were; in fact, they fought to keep their individuality. Lately I've really noticed how hard people try to be someone other than who they are. They latch on to a certain ideal of what they would like to become, and try desperately to fit that mold. Of course there are also many people who press that into others. Television, magazines...just media in general is telling us everything from what color our hair should be to how much we should weigh. I loved the diversity in Australia - I might go and see it again and drag my friends along with me.

It's See You Soon, Not Goodbye

In light of all the happens and events in my life right now, people keep approaching me with the same few topics of conversation. One of these centers around leaving friends and family. When dialogue of this nature takes place at work, it almost exclusively involves my dear friend at the workplace, and any other place for that matter. Everyone goes on and on about how she won't survive, asking who I'll confide in once I'm on the other side of the world, and most popularly that she will have to find a replacement best mate.

I am very sad to leave everyone. I feel like it's literally taken me a lifetime to get the type of friends that I have now - people that truly relate to me, people that care about deeper issues than what they'll wear to the next date party at the frat house. (I'm not poking fun, I used to be that girl). Above all though, I don't feel like I'm losing any of these friends. Yes, I'll be gone for 6 month periods. Yes, I'll only be able to communicate via computer and phone, and at times I'm going to want some face time with certain people desperately. But in spite of all this, I'm coming back. Nashville is still my home. The people here have my heart and I couldn't possibly leave them.

And you know what? They may all be saying sweet things now, but in six months they will most likely be sick of me because I'll be camped on their couch until I wear out my welcome. After all, I'll need to make up for lost time!

Change Requires Trust

Something huge is about to take place. I see it coming around the corner faster than I could have imagined, like a train at warp speed heading straight for me. In reality, it's a calendar I'm looking at. One month from today I'll be moving to Colorado Springs and starting a new career - one that is completely dependent on something other than myself. God to be exact. He'll be my employer, my provider, my protector, heck he may even be the only person I feel I can talk to out there for quite some time.

Late in October I knew everything was about to change. I had attended a Sunday night service at a church not my own, and the guest speaker was a missionary for an organization called Youth With a Mission. He spoke of a need for passionate people willing to go to countries that could have the greatest impact for Christ, to raise up their future leaders and impact corporations, and in effect, change the heart of the countries themselves. His call to people was extraordinary - so much so that I literally hyperventilated in my seat, feeling the force of strong hands pushing on my chest as my friend wondered aloud if we should get me to the hospital. Luckily I was ok; at least health-wise. After going to the alter to pray about the feeling, a lady came and introduced herself to tell me that Jesus had a message for me. Yes, you read that correctly. He said I was his bride, and that he was very proud of me. That immediately let me know I had mentally heard the right thing. I was to become a full time missionary, packing up and selling everything to travel the world as His hands and feet.

It sounded wonderful in theory at first, until I realized that's exactly what I'll be doing. Moving away from everyone I know. Selling everything or putting it in storage until only God knows when (literally). It also means that I will be completely dependent on the Lord to provide my income, housing, food - everything. But if I'm going to trust anyone, it's going to be the Provider God himself. At the same time, I have to come to grips with not being the successful career girl I had built up for myself until this point.

Phew, it was nice to get this off my chest. I'm so excited and so nervous at the same time, I'm in constant prayer. And I believe that's exactly where He wants me to stay.

World Travels

Today I applied for my first passport. It was exciting to think that now I have a personalized ticket to anywhere; all I need is the money to get from here to there. The clerk at the post office was very friendly and we had a good camaraderie going on, until I realized he was taking my birth certificate and shipping it away before I got the passport in hand. This is my original, keep in mind. He wouldn't make a copy and wouldn't return it to me before I left the building. Friendly feelings vanished as I realized for the next several weeks I wouldn't be able to prove my existence should something unmentionable happen.

As he reassured me that the USPS would take great care of my precious belongings, I calmed down enough to rationalize it to myself. They do this countless times per day. My one little birth certificate will be looked after with care and returned back to me with hardly more than a crease. Think it, say it, believe it...right?

Conversations in Hair Nets and Aprons

Saturday a group of girls all decided to go and volunteer at the Nashville Rescue Mission, serving meals to anyone who wanted one. After looking at the selection they would be getting that day, we almost felt like sitting down and having a feast ourselves! The quality of the food donated there is unbelievable. Sandwiches from Bread and Co., desserts from Panera and other local bakeries, hot foods from various local restaurants - it all looked delicious!

After washing up and getting ready to start work, we realized the Mission was actually overstaffed that day, meaning we weren't the ones serving the food. We would be the group that bussed all the tables. This put us in the public eye and allowed us the time to get to know a few of the gentlemen dining there that day. I'm sure we made quite a picture in our hair nets, huge plastic aprons and gloves. Picture little lunch room ladies from your high school days - that was us.

The staff mentioned that we could mix and mingle, so we all took the opportunity to greet people as we cleaned up around them. They were more than eager to talk, and we soon found ourselves in meaningful, and sometimes heated, topics of conversation. Many of the men were eager to talk religion with us, and a few of them were ready to debate about the subject also. One thing I learned was that I have a long way to go; a lot to learn. Leaving there that day and heading to a restaurant with everyone, I rubbed my temples and knew a migraine was on the way.

I thought of John 14:26 - that the Holy Spirit will bring to your remembrance what Christ has told you through his Word. But I knew that if I didn't put enough in my head, the Spirit wouldn't have much to work with and help me remember! Now I know just how important having a solid knowledge of the Word really is - not just for my own spiritual well-being, but for others. If I have nothing to tell them, a great opportunity to impact someone may be lost.

This House Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us

Sometimes there comes a point in someone's life when they have to step up and be an adult. Right now I'm the one at that pinnacle. I'm looking over the ledge, taking in just how far down the drop is if I fall, and really nervous about jumping...after all, when I do who's going to be on the other side to catch me?

Lately it's been a recurring theme though. It's time to step up and take care of my own messes. No one can do it for me this time because I know I have to learn. After making such a big deal about it, you're probably reading this thinking that I have a major life decision that I need to make, right? Actually no, this all just boils down to a friend staying at my teeny, tiny house free of charge. Have I mentioned the house is insanely small? That they happen to be living in the living room? That their dirty clothes were found strung on my couch this morning? No, I probably failed to bring that up.

But I made the jump and I'm proud to say I've landed on my own two feet, no help necessary. I was practically pushed off that ledge though, when the friend mentioned bringing in some visitors to the house for a few days. But it was a necessary push, and in this particular case, the grass really does appear to be greener on the other side!

Solving the World's Problems Over Sushi

Last night a friend and I decided to go for Japanese after work. Her husband was out of town, I didn't want to head to the mayhem that is my apartment right now - it all added up to a good night to have some sushi. We headed over to Ginza in the Green Hills area of Nashville. As usual the place was less than crowded. Actually I would say closer to dead than anything, which was perfect since we both had a lot of catching up to do. We launched into a wide variety of topics the moment we sat in our comfy corner booth.

After complaining about my "worst day I've ever had" kind of day, I asked about hers. Out of nowhere and completely unexpected, she said hers was good; that she's reached the point where she's content with life. WOW. Not only did I feel a tad bit jealous, but I also felt ashamed for having gone on about the petty things that made for a lousy job. After digging into the details of her new-found peace, we both discovered that life just isn't meant for us to sweat the small stuff, so to speak.

While I'm not saying you shouldn't care about your job - people shouldn't be lazy and expect things for nothing - but we began seeing how things at work can cause most everyone to carry those resentments and frustrations into the rest of their lives. I know I did that day! Coming into work I had listened to some worship music and walked in genuinely happy and ready to start the day. Leaving that evening though, I felt as though I had strapped a backpack onto my back, crammed full of the entire company's problems - it was heavy and didn't even contain any food for the trip!

She also felt that if we could be content with the place that God put us in the here and now, He would honor that in the future. Today has been spent with lots of prayers and caffeine, and maybe even a little sugar thrown in for good measure!

Some Things Never Get Old

Canceling my cable service was a tough decision. Like a band aid though, I thought it would be best to pull the plug quickly and not suffer longer than necessary. Of course the television is still sitting silent in the living room though, which unfortunately isn't its normal state. Because of this, when people come over it's awkward and the need for noise/distraction/entertainment is painfully obvious. We've reached the point in our lives where I guess each other's company isn't really enough. Maybe just putting on some music would suffice, but right now I'm working on refining that lost art of communication. Face to face, that is.

My solution for now? Movies. I've purchased about 10 in the last week, all classics that most everyone can agree on. I bought them used from a great website that only charges around $5 per title. They just came in yesterday and I'm very excited to sit down and watch You've Got Mail and It's a Wonderful Life until I have them memorized even more than I do at this point. My roommates will be happy to know that I bought their favorites as well. My Brother and Kappel gave me a list of their top movies, and after selecting my favorites among them, we've started a nice little library for ourselves. While the term "classic" might not be able to apply to the Big Lebowski or Goodfellas, they've proven to be crowd pleasers anyway.

Waking the Dead

Is there anything more therapeutic than a trip to the beach? The only thing more enjoyable that comes to mind would be having a good book while on that trip to the beach. That's exactly what I had this past week. It was a much needed pause from the humdrum of everyday life that I should probably take once a month at the very least. While I doubt my wallet would agree, my mind and body feel much better on this Monday afternoon.

Sitting in the sand and soaking up the sun, I finished Waking the Dead, a book I had been trying to read but had not been making much progress on because of prior obligations. Finding the time to get away and really get into it, I discovered a book that while not new to bookstore shelves, was a fresh take for me on life. John Eldredge describes life today as an epic journey we're all taking, whether or not we wake up to this reality or not. It also discussed something near and dear to my heart...my heart. He makes the true, but often debated point that the heart is GOOD; not essentially bad as most have come to believe. We have been ransomed and just need to find the way to live life that way.

Noting several of my favorite books and movies, including the CS Lewis' Narnia series and the Lord of the Rings trilogy, he makes some very profound parallels that got me thinking while also capturing my attention. I loved it. Simple as that. I'll probably read it again just to get a better sense of the battle we're all facing; hopefully so that I can put on the full armor properly!

The Woman at the Well

Seeing that this event in history is what inspired me to create a blog letting the world (or at least those few people that find my site) know my thoughts and views on anything and everything, I wanted to give a few accounts of my own related to this fascinating lady.

Running early one morning before work, I came around a corner and suddenly had the sensation I should go into the garden of a church I was coming up on. Not wanting to be late for work, and needing to shower and prepare for the day, I was hesitant. The feeling persisted though, with increasing urgency, so I changed my route and headed up the brick stairs and towards the sound of a fountain. Reaching the garden, I stretched for a few moments, wondering why God would have prompted me into the small haven. I looked around for something to hold onto while doing another set of stretches and spotted a pole near some bushes in the corner. As I made my way towards it, I happened to glance at a shaded spot hidden from site to a casual passerby. The sudden view was incredible. There, larger than life, stood a marble woman holding a jar while gazing at Jesus sitting near the well.

I could only laugh at the way God speaks and the ways in which he wants to communicate. This woman has been a recurring figure in my walk with God; one who in many ways I think we all can relate to.