Public Speaking

After my boss sent out an email to the entire company announcing my departure, I received an email from a coworker asking me to come speak one Wednesday for his youth group. Not having done anything like that before in my life, I was nervous to say the least. He said I should just talk about how I came to make my decision of going into missions, and also tell them my testimony. Testimony? That wasn't something I had available at my fingertips to read off to someone. I literally had to start from scratch - getting scriptures that had spoken to me and making an outline that spoke of how God had moved so amazingly.

The big day finally arrived, and everyone kept encouraging me, saying that God would give me the words to speak. After I was called to the front of the large group of 14-18 year-olds, I kept that in my head, praying the entire way up that he would speak through me and I wouldn't have to do any work. Obviously that wasn't the case. However, I didn't do half bad...judging by the fact that I didn't stutter or completely draw a blank.

The great thing was that after all was said and done, I had a few people come up to me with legitimate questions and comments about what I'd had to say. It was encouraging for me! Of course I hope that I was able to reach some of those kids (especially the girls with my talk of not getting in a hurry to marry), but the immediate results were in me. It was wonderful to see the fruits of God using me as a tool to get his Word out there!

Epic Tales

This weekend my mom and I had a girl's night and decided to go and see Australia, the new movie directed by Baz Luhrmann. Having heard mixed reviews, I went in not knowing what to expect, but at the same time hoping he could pull off another classic like his former Romeo and Juliet and Moulin Rouge. It turned out to be more than I had hoped for - probably the best movie I've ever seen, no exaggeration. Although labeled as a romance, and therefore probably not having an equal ratio of women to men, it was also a western, an adventure - suspenseful and dramatic.

One thing I learned as I watched was just how different people could be and still cohabitate together. Not only that, but even become a family because of their differences. No one had to change who they were; in fact, they fought to keep their individuality. Lately I've really noticed how hard people try to be someone other than who they are. They latch on to a certain ideal of what they would like to become, and try desperately to fit that mold. Of course there are also many people who press that into others. Television, magazines...just media in general is telling us everything from what color our hair should be to how much we should weigh. I loved the diversity in Australia - I might go and see it again and drag my friends along with me.

It's See You Soon, Not Goodbye

In light of all the happens and events in my life right now, people keep approaching me with the same few topics of conversation. One of these centers around leaving friends and family. When dialogue of this nature takes place at work, it almost exclusively involves my dear friend at the workplace, and any other place for that matter. Everyone goes on and on about how she won't survive, asking who I'll confide in once I'm on the other side of the world, and most popularly that she will have to find a replacement best mate.

I am very sad to leave everyone. I feel like it's literally taken me a lifetime to get the type of friends that I have now - people that truly relate to me, people that care about deeper issues than what they'll wear to the next date party at the frat house. (I'm not poking fun, I used to be that girl). Above all though, I don't feel like I'm losing any of these friends. Yes, I'll be gone for 6 month periods. Yes, I'll only be able to communicate via computer and phone, and at times I'm going to want some face time with certain people desperately. But in spite of all this, I'm coming back. Nashville is still my home. The people here have my heart and I couldn't possibly leave them.

And you know what? They may all be saying sweet things now, but in six months they will most likely be sick of me because I'll be camped on their couch until I wear out my welcome. After all, I'll need to make up for lost time!

Change Requires Trust

Something huge is about to take place. I see it coming around the corner faster than I could have imagined, like a train at warp speed heading straight for me. In reality, it's a calendar I'm looking at. One month from today I'll be moving to Colorado Springs and starting a new career - one that is completely dependent on something other than myself. God to be exact. He'll be my employer, my provider, my protector, heck he may even be the only person I feel I can talk to out there for quite some time.

Late in October I knew everything was about to change. I had attended a Sunday night service at a church not my own, and the guest speaker was a missionary for an organization called Youth With a Mission. He spoke of a need for passionate people willing to go to countries that could have the greatest impact for Christ, to raise up their future leaders and impact corporations, and in effect, change the heart of the countries themselves. His call to people was extraordinary - so much so that I literally hyperventilated in my seat, feeling the force of strong hands pushing on my chest as my friend wondered aloud if we should get me to the hospital. Luckily I was ok; at least health-wise. After going to the alter to pray about the feeling, a lady came and introduced herself to tell me that Jesus had a message for me. Yes, you read that correctly. He said I was his bride, and that he was very proud of me. That immediately let me know I had mentally heard the right thing. I was to become a full time missionary, packing up and selling everything to travel the world as His hands and feet.

It sounded wonderful in theory at first, until I realized that's exactly what I'll be doing. Moving away from everyone I know. Selling everything or putting it in storage until only God knows when (literally). It also means that I will be completely dependent on the Lord to provide my income, housing, food - everything. But if I'm going to trust anyone, it's going to be the Provider God himself. At the same time, I have to come to grips with not being the successful career girl I had built up for myself until this point.

Phew, it was nice to get this off my chest. I'm so excited and so nervous at the same time, I'm in constant prayer. And I believe that's exactly where He wants me to stay.